turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
this is an emotional support booty call
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
