Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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