You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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