I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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