When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
