some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
