You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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