Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
