i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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