i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Tell her she can't have a vagina
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
