He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
