this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
