you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
