I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
