Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So vagazzling was a success
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
