So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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