listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
they need to just BURY HIM!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
MIDGETS
????
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
