She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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