Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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