I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
