Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
