Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
it glows. i had to have it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
