I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
