There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
