why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
