My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
