So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
