Moan for me like Helen Keller
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
