I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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