Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
