My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
