I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
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