I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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