Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
