Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
