He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
