FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
