Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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