I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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