Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
