Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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