I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
