sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
