weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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