it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
