the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
