Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
