butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
