I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
