Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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