im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
