He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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