3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
